Campanastan

Remember the Fourth, Remember RAPPS

In between the fireworks, auto sales, and barbecues, take a few minutes today to read the Declaration of Independence and the remarkable Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the Constitution:

Download const-dec.pdf

If you are an American citizen, thank your lucky stars for those 56 guys who signed the Declaration in Philadelphia in 1776 and started this thing rolling.

While you are at it, give extra thanks for the First Amendment, which guarantees five fundamental rights, which you can remember with the mnemonic RAPPS: religion, assembly, press, petition, and speech.

Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, two giants in American history - friends, then opponents, and finally friends again, both died on this day in 1826. As I get older, I think less of Jefferson and more of Adams.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." -- Declaration of Independence

Stuck in the Middle at O'Hare...But I Did Get to Stay at a Hilton Hotel Last Night

I spent a semi-delightful three days in the Norfolk-Virginia Beach area at a conference. The meeting was held at the Founders Inn and Spa in Virginia Beach. The venue is adjacent to Pat Robertson's Regent University, whose law school gained notoriety by providing a disproportionate number of lawyers to the Bush Administration. Regent's law school is no slouch, however; Christian Lawyer recently ranked it #2 in the greater Norfolk-Portsmouth-Virginia Beach area, right behind the University of P.O. Box 8000's school.

A local told me that the Founders Inn is owned by Roberston (or his church or university). That accounted for the fact that only beer and wine were available in the restaurant. No demon rum there! But the WiFi was free (see below).

Pictures of our Founding Fathers graced the walls - Jefferson, Madison, Franklin, et al. I mentioned to one of the employees that they were missing a portrait of Sen. Harry F. Byrd, Sr. (D-VA). I got a puzzled look (see today's quote). 

If staying at Pat's Place wasn't enough of a thrill, I was the beneficiary of an impromptu, pre-Independence Day vacation in Chicagoland.

Yes, ATC (Air Traffic Control) delays at O'Hare International Airport (ORD) necessitated a 2.5 hour delay departing from Norfolk International (so designated because there are nonstop flights to South Carolina). But that delay enabled me to study and appreciate the Pat Robertson mural at the airport.

Upshot: I missed my connection to Portland, OR, and spent the night of 2 July at the Hilton Hotel at ORD. Only $300/night!

Here are the many benefits of paying $300/night at to stay at the ORD Hilton:

• Wireless Internet is only $12.99 + tax per night
• Mini-bar charges are reasonable: $4.50 for a small bag of fat-free pretzels or a granola bar, plus tax and 17%
• You can easily check on airport weather without paying to go online
• Your AT&T BlackBerry actually has more than two bars (unlike in Virginia Beach)
• Your HiltonHonors Silver membership level will earn you a free bottle of water (ordinarily $4.95 + tax + 17%) from the mini-bar (but it wasn't even a name brand!)
• You get to stand in the check-in line with citizens of 10 different countries where you can learn numerous swear words
• You can easily check on the length of the ORD security lines without leaving your room
• A portion of your payment goes to support the Cook County political machine to help keep ORD running smoothly
• You get AMEX Rewards points
• You get a free copy of Conrad Hilton's blockbuster best-seller, Be My Guest
• You get a free voucher good for two Paris Hilton videos on the pay-per-view TV channel

But the real fun is yet to come, as I try to recover my $300 from the Oregon State University bean counters ("You could have gotten a cheaper room in Rockford.").

"Never was there a man who so dragged his feet through the sands of time." -- Unknown, said about Sen. Harry F. Byrd, Sr. (D-VA)

Worse Than Mugabe?

Hard to believe that there could be an African dictator worse than Robert Mugabe.

Scumbag extraordinaire Charles Taylor fortunately has been removed from consideration.

Let me see....How about Idriss Deby (shown to the right) of Chad? Nahhh - he hasn't been in office long enough (1990). 

Well, let's try Omar Bongo of Gabon, who is now the world's longest-serving ruler (1967). Nope. Maybe José Eduardo dos Santos of Angola? A reasonable choice. Okay....here we go for sure - Omar al-Bashir of Sudan! Think Darfur and Southern Sudan. How can you beat that record?

Well, Peter Maass of Slate humbly proffers the name of Equatorial Guinea's President Teodoro Obiang, shown above left, who has ruled his tiny (fewer than one million residents) oil-rich dominion for almost 30 years.

This should whet your appetite:

But Mugabe may not be Africa's worst. That prize arguably goes to Teodoro Obiang, the ruler of Equatorial Guinea whose life seems a parody of the dictator genre. Years of violent apprenticeship in a genocidal regime led by a crazy uncle? Check. Power grab in a coup against the murderous uncle? Check. Execution of now-deposed uncle by firing squad? Check. Proclamation of self as "the liberator" of the nation? Check. Govern for decades in a way that prompts human rights groups to accuse your regime of murder, torture, and corruption? Check, check, and check.

Read the story, then you'll wonder why Condolezza Rice called him a "good friend" in 2006.

I still like Mugabe.

"The reason some people are alive is because it's illegal to kill them." -- Unknown

Sen. McCain: What's On YOUR iPod?

Jeanine McGann sent me some of these, courtesy of Michael Crowley, Eve Fairbanks, and Noam Scheiber at The New Republic, but most are mine.

"A Whiter Shade of Pale" -- Procol Harum

"Hey Joe" - Jimi Hendrix

"Barbara Ann" - Beach Boys (Tehran mix)

"Danger Zone" - Kenny Loggins (Top Gun theme)

"Welcome to the Occupation" - R.E.M.

"I Fought the Law" - Bobby Fuller Four (McCain's choice) or The Clash

"Killing Floor" - Howlin' Wolf

"Over There" - George M. Cohan

"I've Got a Gal in Kalamazoo" - Glenn Miller Orchestra

"I'm Not Angry" - Elvis Costello

"Old Man" - Neil Young

"100 Years" - Five For Fighting

"Cindy, O Cindy" - Ollie Gilbert

"Flight of the Valkyries" -- Richard Wagner

"This Old Heart of Mine" - Isley Brothers

"I'm Going to Crush Obama" - McCain Girls (unreleased)

"Onward, Christian Soldiers" - Various Artists

"Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" - Animals

"Universal Soldier" - Bob Dylan (though McCain might prefer Glen Campbell's version)

"Eve of Destruction" - Barry McGuire

"Glory Days" - Bruce Springsteen

"By the Time I Get to Phoenix" - Glen Campbell

"War" - Edwin Starr

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" - Rolling Stones

"Arizona" - Mark Lindsay

"Midnight At The Oasis" - Maria Muldaur

Add your own below!

"Old age is fifteen years older than I am" -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

In the Tank: Mismanaging the USA's Strategic Petroleum Reserve

The current issue (July-August 2008) of Foreign Affairs has an intriguing article by David G. Victor and Sarah Eskreis-Winkler,'In the Tank', about the USA's Strategic Petroleum Reserve (SPR), which now contains over 700 million barrels of oil stored underground in salt domes along the Texas and Louisiana coasts.

A succinct summary:Oil stocks can help buffer economic shocks, but only if Washington radically reforms its handling of them.

As the summary implies, Washington has not been doing a good job of managing the SPR. What struck me was the following passage:

Under the presidencies of Clinton and George W. Bush, the United States managed the SPR exactly backward -- selling when prices were low and buying when they were high -- squandering perhaps as much as $1 billion over two decades.

Sell low and buy high. I'd expect that from Clinton, but I would have imagined that Dubya, the "MBA President", from Harvard, no less, would have known better. But wait -  it's not 'Dubya', but 'Duhhhhhbya'.

Good article.

"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." -- Mark Twain

I Drove Boston's 'Big Dig' - And Survived!

My palms may have been sweaty, my headband soaked, and my shirt drenched, but I had stared death in the face and survived! The Big Dig was mine!

The interminable 3.5-mile 'death drive' on Interstate 93 beneath Boston was over as I once again sampled sunlight and emerged onto the Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge across the Charles River.

So what are the secrets to navigating the treacherous tunnel and living to tell about it?

• Drive fast in a nimble car
• Keep an eye out for those pesky 'hanging chads', the local euphemism for the 3-ton concrete ceiling panels that have a tendency to fall on unsuspecting motorists

You can do it, kid!

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." -- George Carlin (12 May 1937 - 22 June 2008)

                               

National Geographic Seeks TV Host: Scientists/Outdoor Adventurers

Calling all Indiana Jones wannabes!

No, this is not a belated April Fools' Day stunt - it is legitimate. It was sent to me by:

Lindsey Clark at NGS (202-857-7656; lclark@ngs.org).

I just called her to verify its authenticity.

Here is the pdf:

Download ngs_casting_call.pdf

CASTING CALL FOR SCIENTISTS AND OUTDOOR ADVENTURERS

National Geographic Television is looking for a science-savvy, outdoor adventurer to host a new television series. Our host will travel to remote and dangerous places to help scientists gather data in order to find answers to some of the world’s most puzzling questions.

You don’t have to have a science degree.  Just prove that you are charismatic, adventurous, and have a broad knowledge of various branches of science.  You’ll be talking with teams of scientists in the field, and translating what’s going on to our viewers.

The ideal candidate will have a diverse range of experience in fields such as animal tagging, scuba diving, cave exploring, and rock climbing.  Our host will be able to combine adventure with cutting edge science. Experience with high-tech equipment is also a plus.

Deadline: ASAP

The sooner it’s in, the more likely we are to consider you!

Send resumes, informal photos and/or headshots, video of yourself, and inquiries to:

hardscience@ngs.org (electronic submissions preferred)

Send hard copies to:

Coordinator, Series Production

Attn: Science Series Host

National Geographic Television

1145 17^th St. NW
Washington, DC 20036

Santa Ana from San Diego: John Coleman on Global Warming

Looks like global warming has indeed struck San Diego - those hot Santa Ana winds are a-blowin'!

Okay, who's John Coleman? I had never heard of him till friend Don Mahin (my first graduate student - Master of Science 30 years ago!) sent me a link to his comments before the San Diego Chamber of Commerce that assailed anthropogenic global warming. Let me guess - the SD C of C was probably a very receptive audience for these comments, especially since Coleman dumped on Al Gore.

So who is he? Coleman is a weatherman on KUSI in San Diego. He has been doing this stuff for over 55 years, which eminently qualifies him as an expert on climate change, and even started the Weather Channel until the "bad guys" took it from him. 

Here are some of his reasons why anthropogenic global warming is a myth:

1) CO2 is not a significant GHG. Why not? Well, because its concentration in the atmosphere is so low (c. 385 ppm) that it can't possibly be a significant GHG!  What logic! Hey, John, there are many chemicals that are effective at far lower concentrations. Try ozone, whose low concentrations (c. 10-15 ppm, outside of heavily polluted areas) in the atmosphere provide essential  protection from UV rays. How about hydrogen sulfide? Exposure to 100 ppm (or even fewer ppm) for less than an hour will kill you. 

2) Coleman also makes a big point of the fact that 31,000 scientists (9,000 were PhDs) signed a statement refuting global warming. He uses pure numbers to refute the 2,500 who comprise the IPCC - 31,000 trumps 2,500. So are these 31,000 scientists (or 9,000 PhDs) people with expertise in climatology and atmospheric science? I have a PhD in hydrology. So am I an expert in global warming? If I signed a petition (as a PhD) decrying the basis for supply-side economics would that carry any weight? It shouldn't.

3) Even more compelling proof awaits us. Coleman cites the International Conference of Climate Change Skeptics (actually, "Skeptics" was not in the title, but that's what Coleman has - a slip of the tongue, perhaps) in New York City last March. It attracted 100 speakers and filled every one of its 600 seats (perhaps the venue could not hold more). Wow! A conference in NYC that attracted 600 people! Surely that lends great credibility to the anti-global warming frenzy! I suspect if I held a conference on "pyramid power" in Santa Fe, NM, I could fill a 600-seat venue. Would that mean "pyramid power" has credibility? In Coleman's world, I suppose so. 

The above are the kinds of arguments that have great traction with groups like the San Diego C of C.

It's one thing to question global warming and/or its anthropogenic component, but let's stick to the science.

Here is Coleman's Corner, where you can read more.

"My mission, in what is left of a long and exciting lifetime, is to stamp out this Global Warming silliness and let all of us get on with enjoying our lives and loving our planet, Earth." -- John Coleman

Richie Lionel: Commode Doors to Reunite

Richie Lionel, sometimes called the "male Celine Dion" and the "Neil Diamond of the Arab world", said that he was tired of being known only as "Nicole Lionel's father," and would reunite with his former group, the Commode Doors, for a tour in the next two years.

Lionel, whose career has tanked in recent years but who shared the "2007 Parent of the Year" award with Lynne Spears, noted that the reunion was his idea.  

According to Lionel's publicist, Anita Newkar, the other group members, desperate for money and recognition after amicably parting ways with Lionel 25 years ago, were ecstatic.

Bassist Phil "Schizo" Addio, interviewed at the Little Sisters of Lots of Mercy shelter in Birmingham, AL, echoed the feelings of the other group members when he said, "Twenty-five #$%@*&^ years ago he dumped us and left us with *&^%#@&*. That *&$%^#@!! It's about time that *&^%$#^& quit dissin' us and showed us a little love. That &^%*$# always thought his sorry black ass was better than ours."

Lionel said that the reunion might last for more than one tour if the group members "sucked up enough to him," didn't try to "hog all the ladies," made an attempt to "learn how to play their instruments and sing at the same time," and "promised to keep their hands off Nicole, or at least wash them if they couldn't."

Tour venues and dates have not been established yet, although Lionel said he was considering  a winter 2010 tour to the following places, which formerly were Commode Door fan strongholds: Buffalo, NY; Rapid City, SD; Fargo, ND; Erie, PA; Utica, NY; Redneck, TX; Bangor, ME; Butte, MT; Dubai, UAE; and Provo, UT.

Reactions from fans, music critics, and assorted mammals were as expected.  

Dubya: WTF?

"I think - tide turning - see, as I remember - I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of - it's easy to see a tide turn - did I say those words?"

-- President George W. Bush, on progress in Iraq, 14 June 2006

Speaking of tides, is anyone up for a sea change in the presidency?

Happy Flag Day!

Choose a Vice: Pass the Krispy Kremes and Cigarettes, Guys!

Love the cover of the current The New Republic; it's even better inside.

Yeah, that's McCain wolfing down Krispy Kremes and Obama going through the coffin nails.

Happy Friday the 13th, Triskadecaphobes!

Ann Campana Judge Foundation Announces $60K in Grants

Time for a little self-promotion, or should I say self-promotion for a foundation I started and head.

The Ann Campana Judge Foundation recently announced five awards of $12,000 each. That's not a lot of money, but for us (Loring Green and my spouse Mary Frances are also board members) it's a record amount.

We made awards to:

Agua Para La Vida for a drinking water and sanitation project in Nicaragua
     Download exec_summary_aplv_2008.pdf

Living Water International for well rehabilitation work in Honduras (funded jointly with the National Ground Water Research and Educational Foundation)
     Download exec_summary_lwi_2008.pdf

PAVA Foundation for a potable water system in Guatemala
     Download exec_summary_pava_2008.pdf

Engineers Without Borders, Oregon State University, for a potable water project in El Salvador
    Download exec_summary_ewb_2008.pdf

El Porvenir, for a spring-fed potable water system in Nicaragua
    Download exec_summary_ep_2008.pdf

Take a look at some of the other projects we've supported, or make a donation to help replenish our coffers. Thank you!

The ACJ Foundation awards grants for work only in Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Panama, and only to USA-based nonprofit organizations. We do not accept unsolicited proposals.

"The Ann Campana Judge Foundation exists to promote, undertake, support, and fund philanthropic projects focused on potable water, sanitation, and health in developing countries." -- Ann Campana Judge Foundation mission statement

     

Fatwa Alert! Rushdie: Muslims Protesting the Wrong Things

Salman Rushdie, British novelist who endured a decade-long fatwa issued by the late Ayatollah Khomeini because he supposedly trashed Islam in his novel The Satanic Verses, made some perceptive comments on Fareed Zakaria's 8 June 2008 GPS show on CNN (excellent show by the way - Henry Kissinger interview, a great Middle East panel discussion).

Rushdie was on briefly - a promo for an longer visit in a few weeks - commenting on the recent suicide bombing at the Danish embassy in Pakistan, yet another reprisal for the infamous cartoons published in a Danish newspaper a few years ago.

He noted that the bombing and associated protests over the cartoons were "tragic" in that "minor cultural issues" were fomenting violence. But he wondered: where is Muslim outrage over Muslim-on-Muslim violence in Darfur? To protest cartoons violently while such greater issues seemingly go unnoticed is "appalling" and "unintelligent".

Good point, Salman. Still have that safe house? Probably another fatwa on tap for you.

Reminds me of the gaffe the pope made a few years ago, when, quoting a 14th-century Byzantine emperor, he implied that Islam was a violent religion. So what happens? Muslims go on a rampage. Duhhh....Hey, Pope Benedict, can you say, "I rest my case?" 

"The problem is that no one in Washington ever really pays for their transgressions. The Iran-Contra Class of '86 is still running around DC collecting paychecks. Until someone does pay for their crimes, the behavior will not change." -- Andy, commenter on Bill Moyers' Journal

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the AARP

Mary Frances and I just saw the new Indiana Jones film (well, "movie" is a better descriptor).

When I heard Harrison Ford was going to to reprise his role after almost 20 years, my reaction was "Uh-huh. And I can can still do double diamonds at Alpine Meadows."   

I have to admit that it was an entertaining movie, and Ford didn't look so bad for a 65-year-old. Bet he went through the Aleve like M&M's.

But then again, I'm 20 years older, too, so I'm going to cut Ford more slack.

Cate Blanchett was a good villainess. It was amusing to see John Hurt carrying around a skull that was bore a strong resemblance to the Alien's head. Chest pains, John?

I hear Ford wants to make another one, and also continue with his Jack Ryan role, too. Next we'll have Han Solo spinning yarns to his grandchildren at the Old Space Jockeys Home.

Where are my skis?

"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage." -- Indiana Jones

Foreign Policy Hubris: Negotiate? Let's Kick Some Iranian Butt!

Daljit Dhaliwal, host of Foreign Exchange on PBS, had Iranian-American scholar Trita Parsi on her 6 June 2008 show. He's just written Treacherous Alliance - The Secret Dealings of Iran, Israel and the United States.

About the book from Parsi's WWW site:

The book deals with Israeli-Iranian relations in the last 50 years and their impact on US policies and America’s standing in the Middle East. It’s the first book in more than 20 years that deals with the highly sensitive issue of Iran and Israel’s dealings. It is based on more than 130 interviews with high-level Israeli, Iranian and American officials. Contrary to conventional wisdom, Iran and Israel are not entangled in an ideological clash, but rather a resolvable strategic conflict. The book explains both how this rivalry erupted and how it can be resolved. And of course, it reveals many of Iran and Israel’s behind-the-scene dealings that have never been revealed before.

It was not his book that struck me about the interview, but Parsi's contention that in 2003, right after the "success" of the Iraq invasion, Iran approached the USA through back channels (the Swiss) about wanting to negotiate about nuclear weapons and other issues.

The Bush Administration never responded, believing the inquiry was not legitimate or that they could effect "regime change" in Iran as they had just done in Iraq. After all, at the time, we were strong and Iran, scared.

Now, the tables are turned. Larry Wilkerson, then chief of staff for Secretary of State Colin Powell, attested to the legitimacy of the request and believes that an opportunity was lost. Duhhh, yeah Larry, looks that way to me!    

Here is Frank Sesno's CNN piece on the story. 

Remember, it's not a good idea to negotiate with your enemies. After all, they're bad people.  

Let's hope that our elected officials and press start to ask some tough questions, lest we find ourselves at war with Iran, a distinct possibility.

"They may have asked the right questions. Trouble is, they asked all the wrong people." -- John Walcott, McClatchy News, referring to the press during the run-up to the Iraq War

Things I'd Love to See: The Dickster, Perino, McClellan, Al-Qaeda, Malkin, Ray, Stone, Sex and the City, McCain, Obama, R. Kelly, Kobe, Dems, Reps, Clinton, Mugabe, Space Travel

Dick Cheney receive an honorary citizenship certificate from the State of West Virginia. Count those fingers, Dick.

Dana Perino, ignorant White House Press Secretary, get a personal history lesson and an autographed copy of Michael Dobbs' new book on the Cuban missile crisis, One Minute to Midnight. 

Scott McClellan get a free weekly breakfast for life at Waffle House.  

Al-Qaeda lose its designation as an affirmative-action, equal-opportunity employer because it precludes women from becoming suicide bombers.

Blogger Michelle Malkin caught wearing a burqa.

Something constructive for blogger Michelle Malkin to do.

Nothing but head shots for Rachael Ray's future Dunkin' Donuts commercials.

Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City caught shopping in a Payless Shoe Source.

Sharon Stone discover that her new line of designer jeans is 'Made in China'.

John McCain and Barack Obama run a clean, issues-oriented campaign.

The Republicans run two old white guys as their top presidential candidates, the Democrats an African-American man and a woman.

Singer R. Kelly discover the joys of older (over 14) women.

Hillary Clinton exit gracefully from the presidential race and not pressure Sen. Obama to select her as his vice-presidential candidate.

Robert Mugabe call off his thugs and goons and permit a fair runoff election on 27 June.

Kobe Bryant really understand what it means to call your teammates "brothers" after disparaging them a year ago.

A space-travel epic where that quaint 20th-century invention, the seat belt, has been rediscovered and is used by crew members.
 

Islam Lies at the Heart of Iraq's Civil War

The title of this post evokes a "tell me something I don't know" response.

Monica Duffy Toft penned this provocative Op-Ed piece in the Christian Science Monitor about the nature of the Iraq civil war. Toft is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

In studying civil wars from 1940-2000, she concluded:

• nearly half (46%) of all ongoing civil wars involve religion;
• Islam has been involved in more than 80% of all religious civil wars; and
• religious wars rarely end in negotiated settlements but until one side achieves victory.

She posits that a negotiated settlement will be difficult because although the Shiites will want to remain in power, it will be difficult to know with whom to bargain because the Shiites themselves are divided on how to rule Iraq. But by withdrawing, the USA will force the Shiites and the Sunnis to come together through their dislike for their mutual classical adversaries, the Kurds and the Iranians.

There are downsides to this exit strategy, to be sure. But Toft feels that we do not have a choice between victory and failure, but between a less costly failure and a more costly failure. 

Great choice - I believe they call it a 'Hobson's choice'.

"Our nation must come together to unite." -- President George W. Bush, 4 June 2001

Fareed Zakaria, Tony Blair, and the 'Eve of Destruction'

I just caught Fareed Zakaria's new CNN foreign affairs show, GPS, and enjoyed it. Zakaria makes a lot of sense; his perspective is always welcomed in our house.

He started the show with a panel of experts, which included CNN reporter Christiane Amanpour and former Undersecretary of Defense Douglas Feith. Former UK PM Tony Blair was the main draw, and the interview, while good, struck me as more of a Larry King-type cream puffer.

But after Blair's exit Zakaria showed an unflattering video from the UK comedy show Dead Ringers, which lampooned Blair and Bush (mainly the latter). Here it is from YouTube.

Finally, Zakaria noted that CNN first broadcast 28 years ago today.So what were the stories being reported on 1 June, 1980?

1. High oil prices;
2. Iran and Iraq (they were going to war);
3. Arabs and Israelis; and
4. a terrorist bombing in London.

And people wonder why one of my all-time favorite protest songs is P.F. Sloan's Eve of Destruction by Barry McGuire. This particular video has some disturbing scences, but then what would you expect?

By the way, I just finished Dereliction of Duty, H.R. McMaster's excellent tome on the early days of the Vietnam War and the lies and "misinformation" that spewed forth from Johnson, McNamara, Taylor, the Bundys, and the rest of the crew.

Wonderful group. Reminds me of some others I know.

"Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose." -- Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr, 1849.

Scott McClellan to Endorse New Line of Sunbeam Wafflemakers

Scott McClellan, former White House Press Secretary whose book What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception has generated much controversy, has been selected by Sunbeam International to be the spokesman for its new line of upscale wafllemakers, the WafflePro.

The selection was announced today by McClellan's agent, Dewey Cheatham, and Hugh Jeego, spokesman for Sunbeam International.

"We are thrilled to have someone of Mr. McClellan's stature promote our new line of upscale wafflemakers, the WafflePro line", said Jeego, who continued: "We intend to remove the stigma attached to waffles - a food long associated with toothless, six-fingered, moronic, unkempt crackers from Georgia or Kentucky who consider Waffle House haute cuisine, or worse, Belgians." 

Jeego added that McClellan, whose Texas family includes some bona-fide crackers, is perhaps the best-known waffler of our time, even more so than George 'Slam Dunk' Tenet.

Agent Cheatham chimed in: "The American public will readily identify him as a waffler extraordinaire, and we expect sales of WafflePros to skyrocket because of Scott."  

Jeego also introduced the beginner model of the WafflePro, a microprocessor-controlled device that will "create the perfect waffle" each time for only $250. "Since McClellan is the 'perfect waffler' himself, we expect the product recognition to be huge," said Jeego.

More expensive versions will have built-in MP3 players, TVs, WiFi, and XM satellite radio receivers.

Cheatham added that McClellan's fees will be donated to a new nonprofit self-help group he has created, Wafflers Anonymous. Someone known only as 'George S.D.' has already become the first member.  

Czech President to Al Gore: 'Let's Debate Climate Change'

Friend Don Mahin sent me the link to the following article from The Earth Times. It's good.

Washington - Czech President Vaclav Klaus said Tuesday he is ready to debate Al Gore about global warming, as he presented the English version of his latest book that argues environmentalism poses a threat to basic human freedoms. "I many times tried to talk to have a public exchange of views with him, and he's not too much willing to make such a conversation," Klaus said. "So I'm ready to do it."

Klaus was speaking a the National Press Building in Washington to present his new book, Blue Planet in Green Shackles - What Is Endangered: Climate or Freedom?, before meeting with Vice President Dick Cheney Wednesday.

"My answer is it is our freedom and, I might add, and our prosperity," he said.

Gore, a former US vice president who has become a leading international voice in the cause against global warming, was co-winner of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Gore's effort was highlighted by his Oscar winning documentary film An Inconvienent Truth.

Klaus, an economist, said he opposed the "climate alarmism" perpetuated by environmentalism trying to impose their ideals, comparing it to the decades of communist rule he experienced growing up in Soviet-dominated Czechoslovakia.

"Like their (communist) predecessors, they will be certain that they have the right to sacrifice man and his freedom to make their idea reality," he said.

"In the past, it was in the name of the Marxists or of the proletariat - this time, in the name of the planet," he added.

Klaus said a free market should be used to address environmental concerns and said he oppposed as unrealistic regulations or greenhouse gas capping systems designed to reduce the impact of climate change.

"It could be even true that we are now at a stage where mere facts, reason and truths are powerless in the face of the global warming propaganda," he said.

Klaus alleged that the global warming was being championed by scientists and other environmentalists whose careers and funding requires selling the public on global warming.

"It is in the hands of climatologists and other related scientists who are highly motivated to look in one direction only," Klaus said.

"If I listen, I have the advantage. If I speak, the others have it." --Anonymous