Campanastan

Data Mining, Diapers, and Beer

Another one from Marty Ennis, who stumbled upon this example of  'data mining'. It'll help you the next time you're shopping and wonder why diapers are in the beer aisle.

For example, one Midwest grocery chain used the data mining capacity of Oracle software to analyze local buying patterns. They discovered that when men bought diapers on Thursdays and Saturdays, they also tended to buy beer. Further analysis showed that these shoppers typically did their weekly grocery shopping on Saturdays. On Thursdays, however, they only bought a few items. The retailer concluded that they purchased the beer to have it available for the upcoming weekend. The grocery chain could use this newly discovered information in various ways to increase revenue. For example, they could move the beer display closer to the diaper display. And, they could make sure beer and diapers were sold at full price on Thursdays.

"Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise." - Laurence J. Peter

Why Women Live Longer Than Men: A Photo Essay

Marty Ennis has done it again - take a gander at these pictures. No captions necessary.

These would never happen in Campanastan.

 

 

 

 

 

"Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do."-- Bertrand Russell

Gidget Goes Dead

It's been a bad past few weeks. Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson. Walter Cronkite. Who's next?

Now, Gidget, the famous Taco Bell chihuahua, has died of a massive stroke.

Even the venerable New York Times and Washington Post (who provided the photo) carried the story from AP.

Gidget had a reputation as the quadruped Shannen Doherty.

"She was a prima donna, basically. She absolutely knew when she was on camera." -- Karin McElhatton

Bulwer-Lytton Bacchanalia

The High Country News alerted me to the 2009 winner of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, David McKenzie, a quality systems consultant from Federal Way, WA:

"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."

Hard to top this - not even old Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton himself could do better.

"No man was ever eloquent by trying to be eloquent, but only by being so." -- George Henry Lewes

Kudos to Armstrong, Collins & Aldrin

Forty years ago today, several other future geologists/hydrologists and I were enthralled by the grainy images we saw on a B & W TV in the basement of the geology building at the College of William and Mary. Amazing!

Just like President Kennedy's assassination I will never forget where I was. It's still as clear as a bell.

And forty years later I am still amazed at what I witnessed.

My hat's off to Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin.

"I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street." -- Neil Armstrong

Happy 91st Birthday, Nelson Mandela!

Nelson Mandela celebrates his 91st birthday today. He is one of my all-time heroes, along with Jackie Robinson and Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

A remarkable man, who was "too busy to hate" after he was released from prison in 1990, he put South Africa on the road to true democracy when he was elected president in 1994.

He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993.

Two excellent books about him: his autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom; and Nelson Mandela: A Biography by Martin Meredith.

Here is an NPR story about an audio book of Mandela's favorite folk tales.

The picture is from Bloomberg.com.

 "When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat." -- Nelson Mandela

The Planet Isn't F**cked, We Are!

I got this from David Zetland's excellent Aguanomics blog. I love this graphic because it reminds us that the planet isn't screwed or needs saving. The planet will be here long after we are gone. And it'll be just fine, just as it's always been.

 

"Unless we change the direction we are heading, we might end up where we are going." -- Chinese proverb

The U.S. Air Force's Awesome Guide To Blog Threat Assessment & Appropriate Responses

Our flyboys are keepin' us safe in the blogosphere! KISS, guys!

You might find this useful.

Thanks to cbwater and kevinmccann.

View this photo

 

"We're going to blog them back into the Stone Age." - apologies to Gen. Curtis E. LeMay, USAF

Steve McNair: Drop the Stones?

Interesting take on Steve McNair's recent tragic death and the resulting media coverage from Rev. Joe Thacker over at The Winged Lion.

In particular, Rev. Thacker notes the exhortation of made by Bishop Joseph W. Walker III at McNair's memorial service:

Drop your stone the next time you write about Steve McNair. Drop your stone the next time you text somebody. Drop your stone the next time you twitter. Drop your stone, those of you in the barbershops, the beauty shops. Those of you walking the streets on the corner, drop your stone.

Thacker responds:

I assume the bishop’s comments stem from Jesus’ instruction in John 8:7: Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone…. If this assumption is correct, then I understand the bishop to be instructing his hearers that no one should judge Steve McNair in a negative light because all of us are sinners.

Well, there’s a modicum of truth in that, even as a sinner writes this post.  However, does the fact that we are all sinners therefore mean that we are not to call sin “sin”?  No, not at all, and Jesus wouldn’t have us to be so undiscerning.  We are called to judge, but not to be hypocritical judges, keeping a healthy perspective on our own sin (see Matthew 7:1-5).  We are to rightly view the sins of others, and be duly warned as a result (1 Corinthians 10:6-13).

...I can’t help but wonder that Bishop Walker would have been better served to instruct his listeners to learn from McNair’s folly.  This isn’t to say that Steve McNair didn’t have many other fine qualities or that he didn’t significantly contribute to his community, for clearly he did.  However, neither does this mean that we should pretend that his adultery was insignificant.  It was significant, and it is significant to McNair.

One could argue that McNair actually took advantage of a troubled young woman and paid the ultimate price for his choice. As one sports pundit succinctly put it: "To many of his peers, it wasn't  that he was fooling around with another woman, just the wrong woman."

As someone who once walked in McNair's shoes I'll now drop my stones, but Rev. Thacker provides some proverbial food for thought.

"They are what they do." -- Sportswriter Roger Angell, referring to professional athletes

Darwin Award Contender: Man Loses Head Fishing With Dynamite

From Erik Olsen at olsentropy comes this explosive story from Chennaionline:

One person was killed in an explosion while lighting a dynamite stick during fishing in Mahanadi river in Orissa's Sambalpur district, police said today.

Biswesar Suna, 35, of Kudamahipali, was apparently trying for a good catch when the mishap occured yesterday near Chiplima Hydro power station.

Under the impact of the explosion the man's head and right hand were blown off and and his body was found floating in the water by the villagers.

"Another semi-successful application of the Charlton Heston fish finder!" -- Anonymous

Friendly Skies? United Breaks Guitars

Someone witnessed United Airlines baggage 'handlers' playing catch with musician Dave Carroll's $3,500 Taylor guitar at O'Hare International Airport. When he landed in Nebraska for the start of a week-long tour, Carroll discovered that the guitar's neck was broken. Unbeknownst to him, that was the beginning of a year-long futile effort to get compensation for the $1,200 repair.

Frustrated, he wrote the song United Breaks Guitars and posted the video on YouTube. As they say in the trade, it has gone viral.

Here is the story and a recap from the Dallas Morning News.

The quick recap, for those who have missed the story, is that Carroll and his group, Sons of Maxwell, were traveling from Halifax to Omaha, NE, through Chicago last year. Someone saw United baggage handlers throwing the band's guitar cases around. When he retrieved his guitar, he found $1,200 in damage to the guitar's base, damage that a "Ms. Irlweg" with United declined to pay.

Seems like United is a little more receptive to Carroll's plight these days.But at least he's getting some satisfaction, not to mention exposure for his band.

Here is Carroll's response to it all.

Next time, Carroll might be wise to buy a heavy-duty case, or use FedEx.

A week-long concert tour in Nebraska? Hey, the big time!

"They don't realize that while you're sitting here talking, someone is fucking you. Changing a fare, changing a flight, moving something. There's no autopilot, and that's why I've seen a lot of guys come and go." -- Gordon Bethune, CEO Continental Airlines, regards his peers at other airlines, Fortune magazine 18 October 2004

FOG Alberto Gonzales Quits McD's, Lands a Real Job - Sort Of

Well, it's not quite a real job - he'll be a professor.

Yes, NPR reports that former AG and Friend Of George Alberto 'I Don't Recall' Gonzales will become a political science professor at Texas Tech University.

He turned down a position as an ethicist.

In honor of this momentous event, here are a list of AG's Top Ten quotes, courtesy of Thoughts on the World:

10. “I have searched my memory.”

9. “I don’t have any recollection about…”

8. “I have no recollection.”

7. “I have no memory of this.”

6. “I don’t remember.”

5. “I don’t know.”

4. “I don’t recall ever saying this.”

3. “I don’t recall ever doing that.”

2. “I can’t recall.”

1. “I don’t recall.”

"WTF?" -- Dick Cheney

Manny Gets a Pass - Were You Expecting Something Else?

Manny Ramirez has received over 1200 walks in his career but recently got the biggest one of all. Ramirez - quitter extraordinaire, arguably the best right-handed hitter of our generation, and current clown prince of baseball, was given a hero's welcome when he returned to the Dodgers after a 50-game suspension for taking a banned substance.

And the exuberant welcome was all the more amazing given the fact that he debuted in Petco Park, the home of the San Diego Padres. Something like 25,000 Dodger fans made the 120-mile trek south to welcome Manny back.

So what does this mean, if anything? It simply means that most baseball fans don't care much about players who take steroids or banned substances, as long as it is their player. Such players fall into the same category as lawyers and politicians: "My guy's great, your guy is an unethical scumbag." You can bet that Manny will get booed unmercifully in other ballparks.

And I heard something incredulous yesterday morning. Sports reporter Michael Kay declared on ESPN's The Sports Reporters that only sports journalists and their ilk cared about the integrity of baseball. Uh-huh. Where were those guys when the banned substances story was developing? Like the rest of us, they were homers, asleep at the switch, but cheering those mammoth home runs.

"Forget about the trade. This is where I want to be, ... Manny being Manny, man.” -- Manny Ramirez

Jenny Sanford for SC Governor?

From what little I know about her I'm impressed with Jenny Sanford - she's smart, tough, and apparently a devoted mother. She's certainly nobody's fool.

Notice how she refused to do the 'dutiful wife' thing and stand with her husband while he bumbled his way through a televised press conference. I remember how pained and pathetic Silda Spitzer looked as she stood to the side and slightly in back of her husband as he did his public apology thing before the cameras.

Ditto for Elizabeth Edwards.

South Carolinians could do far worse than to elect her governor. If not, maybe we can get her to move to Oregon.

“He’s gonna have to worry about that, and I’m going to worry about my family and the character of my children.” -- Jenny Sanford, speaking about her husband, Gov. Mark Sanford 

Remember RAPPS, Remember the Fourth

In between the fireworks, auto sales, and barbecues, take a few minutes today to read the Declaration of Independence and the remarkable Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the Constitution:

Download const-dec.pdf

If you are an American citizen, thank your lucky stars for those 56 guys who signed the Declaration in Philadelphia in 1776 and started this thing rolling.

While you are at it, give extra thanks for the First Amendment, which guarantees five fundamental rights, which you can remember with the mnemonic RAPPS: religion, assembly, press, petition, and speech.

Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, two giants in American history - friends, then opponents, and finally friends again, both died on this day in 1826. As I get older, I think less of Jefferson and more of Adams.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." -- Declaration of Independence