I have decided to expose (pun intended) myself and Mary Frances to ridicule and embarrassment by entering Splashdirect's contest to support World Toilet Day (19 November) by relating my funny/disgusting toilet story.
Hey, it's for a good cause - money will be donated to WaterAid.
Okay, here goes:
It was May 2009 and I was returning from a trip to Armenia. The first leg of my return was a flight from Yerevan to Vienna. As I deplaned in Vienna, I headed for the men's room. Time to avert your eyes, right? No, not yet. After performing the required functions, I washed my hands and returned to the transit lounge.
As I browsed the food offerings, books, gadgets, etc., I noticed people giving me a variety of looks. Some scowled; some grimaced; some smiled; others covered their mouths as their eyes grew wide. Others averted their eyes completely and crinkled their noses. Some even gave me a wide berth or looked down and moved away. I could not figure out what was wrong. Stained or wet pants? No. Something on my shoes? Check. Hat askew? Nahh...
This must have continued for 15 minutes or so. I soon moved to the waiting room where more looks awaited me. Finally, as I stood by myself - unusual in such a crowded room - I noticed a couple staring at me. The woman was whispering something to the man. When she stopped, he looked at her, then at me, frowned, and walked toward me. Many eyes were fixed on him. I knew he was going to say something and I figured my dilemma was about to be resolved.
But I had no idea it would be this: 'Sir, you have about two feet of toilet paper hanging out from the back of your trousers.'
Clean or not? Use your imagination.
Both funny and disgusting...
Here is the winner.