Campanastan

Bud Light: Employer of Marketing Geniuses from Delta Iota Kappa

No comment is necessary, except for 'How could they be so stupid and thoughtless?'

Read more here. 

"Bud Light....the perfect beer for marketers about to lose their job." - Jeff Barrett

Too Close To Home...'Duty Calls' @xkcd

Moi?

“A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small parcel.” ― John Ruskin

Communications 101: How To Write An Email To Your Instructor or Teaching Assistant

Ain't this the truth! Thanks to PhD Comics.

"It's in the syllabus!" - Unknown

Happy Earth Day! So What If It IS All for Naught?

This cartoon via Eric Wolfson says it all.

Happy Earth Day!

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” -- Walt Kelly

Marco Rubio: Forward Thinker Rebrands S.O.S.

Wonderful cartoon (click on the image to enlarge it) from The Week and Bill Day.

And don't forget Rubio's 21st century Cuban foreign policy!

“I’m not making any comparison between Barack Obama and Castro from Cuba—but…” - Marco Rubio

She Shoots Kitties, Doesn't She? Yes, Through the Head with an Arrow

Disgusting story of the day: a sick, moronic Texas veterinarian shoots a cat through the head with an arrow, then brags about it on her Facebook page.

I guess her assault rifle wasn't available.

Fortunately, she was fired. Maybe she will have her license suspended. 

The story from Digital Journal:

A veterinarian in Texas has been fired after posting a disturbing photo of herself holding a dead cat with an arrow through its head. She boasted about shooting the cat and joked she was the 'Vet of the Year' for doing so.

Kristen Lindsey, 31, of Brenham, Texas was a veterinarian at the Washington Animal Clinic when she stalked an orange cat in her backyard with a bow and arrow and shot it dead through the head.

She posted the photo of her holding the dead cat on Facebook. She boasted of the kill and said it was a feral cat, which it was not. It was a family's cat named Tiger, one that had been missing for two weeks. A video was posted online of a cat on a tractor on a farm and the poster said it was the one Lindsey killed, but there's no confirmation it is the same cat.

 

This is what Lindsey wrote alongside the photo she posted: "My first bow kill...lol. The only good feral tomcat is one with an arrow through it's head. Vet of the year award...gladly accepted." 

Later, she posted a joke about how she would not be fired for having killed the cat: "And no I did not lose my job," she wrote the second time. "Psshh. Like someone would get rid of me. I'm awesome."

However, as soon as the Washington Animal Clinic heard about the photo and took a look at it, they fired her. Not only did they fire Lindsey but they also roundly condemned her for such a cruel act, making it clear that she won't be welcome back.

"We are absolutely appalled, shocked, upset, and disgusted by this conduct," the clinic wrote on their Facebook page. "We have parted ways with Ms. Lindsey. We do not allow such conduct and we condemn it in the strongest possible manner.

"Please know that when informed of this we responded swiftly and appropriately and please do not impute this awful conduct to the Washington Animal Clinic or any of its personnel."

The now-disgraced vet has also been condemned by the Texas Veterinary Medical Association and by Austin County Sheriff Jack Brandes, who said he would "get to the bottom of it and get the truth, one-hundred percent truth, and get it to the DA and put it in his hands if it needs to go any further."

So though the veterinarian who seems not to care much for cats has not yet been charged for killing Tiger, she may soon be. Meanwhile, a Facebook page called 'Justice for Cat Murdered By Kristen Lindsey' has 17,964 likes and counting.

Maybe Lindsey will learn some kindness and compassion, as well as the difference between 'it's' and 'its'.

Moron...

“We need, in a special way, to work twice as hard to help people understand that the animals are fellow creatures, that we must protect them and love them as we love ourselves.” ― César Chávez 

The Wages of Sin: Gender Equality on U.S. Currency

Not good. The source for this - Mike Keefe.

 

'Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.' - Joseph Conrad

Courtroom Repartee: Disorder in the Court

Ari Michelsen sent me these true humorous snippets from the courtroom. They are from the book, Disorder in the American Courts.

 

Enjoy!

 

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:   He said, 'Where am I, Ann?'
ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:   My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:   Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:   No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  What is your date of birth? 
WITNESS:   July 18th. 
ATTORNEY:  What year?     
WITNESS:   Every year. 
_____________________________________     
ATTORNEY:  How old is your son, the one living with you? 
WITNESS:   Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. 
ATTORNEY:  How long  has he lived with you? 
WITNESS:   Forty-five years.     
_________________________________
ATTORNEY:  This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:    Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:    I forget...
ATTORNEY:   You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY:   Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:    Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:   He's 20, much like your IQ..
___________________________________________ 
ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:   Say what?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:   Yes.
ATTORNEY:  And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:   Glad I wasn’t with you.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:  She had three children , right?
WITNESS:   Yes.
ATTORNEY:  How many were boys?
WITNESS:   None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS:   Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:   By death..
ATTORNEY:  And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:   Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:   He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:   Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:   No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:   All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:   Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:   The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY:  And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:   If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:   Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:   No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:   No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:   No..
ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:   No.
ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:   Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:   Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Q: What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. 

Calling All North Bennet Street School Caddies! Reunion/Summit: 11 - 13 September 2015

Last May I posted twice on a small caddy camp reunion in New Hampshire. Work on the shrine, Our Lady of the Fairways, was unveiled. At that time there was talk of having a larger reunion in Fall 2015. Things have taken off since then. 

I just received this newsletter announcing the North Bennet Street School's Caddy Camps Reunion/Summit, 11 - 13 September 2015. It will be in the neighborhood of Bethlehem, NH, and the Maplewood Golf Course and Inn and Maplewood in the gorgeous White Mountains.

Download NBSS_Caddy_Reunion_Newsletter_11-13_Sept2015 

There is a website - CaddyCamps.com - and Facebook page. Check each for timely information.

Many thanks to Frank Colvario, Tony Wozniak, Gary Conserva, Robert Caggiano, John Daly, and James Daly for serving on the steering committee and doing the heavy lifting. Please contribute making a donation to support the newsletter and other efforts.

Here is a picture from the early 1960s. I believe I am in the very top row, first one on the left.

 See you there!

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Repainting Lake Louise - An April 1 Canadian Tradition

Bet you didn't know that every 1 April the Canadians drain Lake Louise and repaint it. Pretty amazing! Read all about it. 

 

"Long ago I learned this proverb: If you do something important, there will always be critics. If you don't like critics, don't do anything important." - Marjorie Montgomery Bowker, first female family court judge in Alberta

The More Things Change....Oh, Just Give 'Em a Few More Centuries

Well, maybe not, but I love this KAL cartoon from the 28 March 2015 edition of The Economist. 

 "The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other." - Dan Quayle

ADHD? What Folks REALLY Do on Conference Calls

According to the Harvard Business Review, here are other things that employees do on conference calls.

I plead guilty on some occasions. I sometimes 'fiddle around' on the Internet. 

My biggest fear after a period of inattention: "Hey, Michael, what's your opinion of that?"

Here is a Huffington Post article on How to Ruin Conference Calls.

“I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them.” - Susan Sonntag

Separated At Birth? Grumpy Fish & GrumpyCat

The Grumpy Cat finds a 'friend' beneath the sea.

 

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." -- Garrison Keillor

Monster Movie Made Simple...Just Add Radiation

                             +

                 l l

Yeah, this was actually a real movie. I saw it. Undoubtedly, the cause of the mutant spider was radiation....

You know how they killed it? They got the 50-Foot Woman to step on it.

FYI: John Agar was one of Shirley Temple's husbands.

Thanks to Eric Fitch for the sign graphic.

"Some things man was not meant to experiment with." -- Unknown, always uttered by someone in a 1950s horror movie

After Annoying Armenians, Starbucks Tackles the Rest of Us

Several weeks ago Starbucks succeeded in annoying Armenians by depicting Armenian dancers beneath Turkish flags (read about it here). 

Unsatisfied with that, the caffeine company sought to initiate a discussion about race in the USA with its 'Race Together' program. Nothing wrong with that, but the way it was done was questioned. Seems like that program has bitten the dust as well. 

The editorial cartoonists have expressed their opinions about the 'Race Together' initiative. Two examples follow.

CEO Howard Schultz has announced a new initiative to promote understanding and camaraderie among Azerbaijanis and Armenians, emphasizing their common ethnic origin and culture.

You go, Howard!

 

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude." - Henry David Thoreau (quoted in Oz.comand The Week)

Cost Obsession Map for the USA. NoDaks Really Want the Cost of 'A Minor'?

From friend and colleague Michael van der Valk.

Click on the map to enlarge it. 

Here is the story from the Washington Post's Wonkblog.

 

Funny. Oregon: water? New Mexico: CDL (must be commercial driver's license)?

"Remember -- life is just an eddy in the Second Law of Thermodynamics." - Unknown

Oh, No, Not in Austin! 'Exclusively for White People' Store Stickers!

I would not have been surprised to see these in certain Texas cities, but not Austin! So much for Austin's vaunted 'liberalism'!

Read about it here. 

One man has claimed credit for the stickers, saying he did it to protest gentrification of East Austin. Perhaps he could have taken a different approach.

 

 “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.” - Rush Limbaugh

My Top 5 Picks for 'Boots-on-the-Ground' Service in Our Next Middle Eastern War

"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." – Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, when asked about weapons of mass destruction in an ABC News interview, 30 March 2003 (Source)

St. Patrick Meets Al Wilson's Snakes, Keeps His Eyes on the Road, Avoids Consequences

From Ben McKelway's FB page, who got it from Janis Ian's (yes, THAT Janis Ian) FB page.

Reminds me of Al Wilson's great song, The Snake. 

 "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar ,and fat." – Alex Levine (via Janis Ian)

TIME for More! Hillary the Devil & O.J. The Criminal

TIME magazine is getting grief from some quarters for their recent cover depicting Hillary Clinton with horns. Uh-huh.

The magazine says that 34 other covers have shown the same effect.

Not nearly as bad as the infamous O.J. Simpson 'mug shot' cover:

which should have looked like this (unretouched):

"Beware of stupid people who are motivated and energetic." - Margaret Catley-Carlson 

1965 - 2015: The More Things Change, The More They Remain the Same?

 

 Great day for us all - see more here and here.

From The Week. 

“People always say that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in” 
― Rosa Parks

Dana Milbank Comes Close, But Gets It Wrong About Hillary Clinton: It's About Entitlement

Dana Milbank, the Washington Post columnist, is one of my favorites.

But he missed the point in his recent column about Hillary Clinton and 'Emailgate'. Here is what he says about Clinton in his latest missive (the picture is from his column):

So it turns out Hillary Clinton will face a serious challenger in the primaries, after all. Her name is Hillary Clinton (italics mine):

This week’s revelation that she used only private e-mail to conduct her public business as secretary of state is not a knockout blow to the likely Democratic presidential nominee; she has weathered worse. But it is a needless, self-inflicted wound, and it stems from the same flaws that have caused Clinton trouble in the past — terminal caution and its cousin, obsessive secrecy.

In trying so hard to avoid mistakes — in this case, trying to make sure an embarrassing e-mail or two didn’t become public — Clinton made a whopper of an error. What’s troubling is that she’s been making a variation of this mistake for nearly a quarter-century.

Yes, Milbank got it right - terminal caution and obsessive secrecy are at fault, but they stem from the fundamental 'Clintonian charcateristic' - entitlement. 'Billary' thinks they are better than the rest of us and don't need to play by the same rules. Transparency? That's for the little people.

Bill gets away with it more easily than Hillary because of his personality and 'Aw, shucks, down home' persona. 

The Clintons are not the only politicians who possess this trait, but we're not talking about other politicians.

Did she break the law? Apparently not. Did she do what she criticized others for doing? Yes.  

But she's still better than the Republican wannabes. Oh, yeah.

She ought to learn not to shoot herself in the foot.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton

Oh, That @NYDailyNews! Is @WilliamShatner Really 'Captain Jerk'?

The front page of yesterday's New York Daily News:

'Captain Jerk' seems a bit extreme. William Shatner was at a charity event in Florida Saturday night and couldn't make it back to LA in time for friend Leonard Nimoy's funeral on Sunday morning. So he's being vilified in the press and on social media.

Some wags suggested he should have spent about $30,000 of his estimated $100M nest egg to charter a private jet.

"Regret is the worst human emotion. If you took another road, you might have fallen off a cliff. I'm content." - William Shatner

Spock and Some Star Trek Recollections: 'Live Long and Prosper'

Sad news that Leonard Nimoy, better known as First Officer and Science Officer Spock from the Star Trek TV and film series, died. Of the 'Big Four' - Captain James T. Kirk, Spock, Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy (DeForest Kelley) and Chief Engineer Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott (James Doohan) - only William Shatner (Kirk) survives.

The photo shows Nimoy, Shatner, and Kelley. 

Mr. Spock was the most intriguing of the four. He was half-human, half-Vulcan. His logical Vulcan half frequently wrestled with his emotional and illogical (at times) humanity. And there were those pointy ears, eyebrows, nerve pinch, and Vulcan sign, often coupled with 'Live long and prosper.'

Upon hearing of Leonard Nimoy's death, astronaut Terry Virts took this picture in a window of the International Space Station:

Much has been written about Leonard Nimoy and his alter ego Spock. One of the most compelling pieces was one from CBC News about how Nimoy's legacy extended far beyond science fiction. Read it here. 

From the article:

Leonard Nimoy didn't just leave a lasting impression on the science-fiction world, he also left his mark on science itself.

Seth Shostak, who researches the possibility of real-world extraterrestrial life as the senior astronomer at SETI Research, recalled that Nimoy was regularly willing to lend the organization a helping hand. When he was asked to narrate a planetarium introduction or appear as a guest at an event, Nimoy did so graciously and never charged.

"That struck me then, and it strikes me now," said Shostak. "If you play a famous alien, you might have little interest in how science is searching for real aliens, but Nimoy was actually interested in the science — and he was always willing to help us out."

The article has more accolades, such as this:

"Leonard Nimoy was an inspiration to multiple generations of engineers, scientists, astronauts and other space explorers," said NASA administrator Charles Bolden. "As Mr. Spock, he made science and technology important to the story, while never failing to show, by example, that it is the people around us who matter most."

Mary Frances and I spent some time reminiscing about Star Trek. The TV series debuted on NBC in September 1966  and lasted for 79 episodes till June 1969. What most people don't realize is that the network show was not a commercial success; it was canceled. But in syndication it took off, and the Star Trek franchise was born.

We both watched the original series and loved it. The story lines often addressed moral and social issues that were not widespread on TV in those days - equality, inclusivity, non-interference with indigenous cultures (the Prime Directive), war, diplomacy, collaboration, etc. Never mind that most of the women in the series were often comely and clothed in miniskirts or other revealing outfits, and that Kirk would often become romantically involved with some gorgeous creature. After all, this was 1966-69 and we were not where we are today. But the crew would at times encounter powerful women.

The show also provided hope that Earth would have a future as a united, peaceful place. Recall that climate change was not the issue in those days - it was the specter of nuclear war with the Soviet Union.  Yes, World War III devastated the planet in the 21st century, but since Star Trek took place in the 23rd century, Earth was back in the game. 

Here are some of Spock's memorable quotes. 

We will not forget you, Mr. Spock. Nor you, Mr. Nimoy.

"Live long and prosper." - Mr. Spock 

Memo to Starbucks: Armenians with Turkish Flags? Can You Spell G-E-N-O-C-I-D-E?

Starbucks recently created a massive faux pas by using these posters of women in traditional Armenian costumes with the crescent and star of the Turkish flag in the background. Duhhh....Can you spell G-E-N-O-C-I-D-E?

Read the story from Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty.

From the story (19 February 2015):

An attempt by U.S. coffee giant Starbucks to appeal to Los Angeles' sizable Armenian population has backfired after its coffee shops displayed posters depicting women dressed in traditional Armenian garb under the crescent and star of the Turkish flag. 

The posters were spotted this week in Los Angeles-area Starbucks locations, infuriating activists and social media users who called the image offensive in light of what Armenians refer to as the "genocide" of their people by Turkish Ottoman forces in the early 20th century. 

"Why is Starbucks selling coffee using an image of women, dressed in traditional Armenian costumes, celebrating a Turkish state that systematically victimized Armenian women during the Armenian Genocide, and that still denies this crime against all humanity?" the Armenian National Committee Of America (ANCA) wrote in a February 18 post on its Facebook page. 

Starbucks quickly apologized and pulled the posters.

'Turkey has the moon and a star on its flag. Are they in Turkey?' - Armenian official, responding to a Turkish official who complained that the Armenian flag has an image of Mt. Ararat, which is in Turkey, not Armenia (but is easily visible from Armenia and just across the border)

Nice Cartoon from the Aliens in Roswell, New Mexico

Nice cartoon. From Keith Bell in the Roswell (NM) Record News.

 

"Think about how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin

'By This, I'm Touching a Little Bit of Iran' - An Audio Montage

I recently gave an interview to a media outlet about my recent trip to the I. R. of Iran. The interviewer provided me with the following audio montage of my interview. It's only a few minutes.

Download Michael%20E.%20Campana_Heart%20Touching%20Words%20about%20Iran-2

Thirty of my new BFF:

If we want Iran to be a part of the world community, why not invite them in?

"Could I get in your backpack so you could take me to America?" - Young (c. 12) Iranian schoolgirl, who asked me this through a bilingual friend, Esfahan, Iran, 12 January 2015

It's Hockey Weekend Across America! 35th Anniversary of the 'Miracle on Ice'

Who knew this weekend was Hockey Weekend Across America? Probably just slightly more than those who knew that yesterday was World Pangolin Day.

And today is Hockey Day in America, which celebrates the 35th anniversary of the 'Miracle on Ice' - the defeat of the vaunted Soviet Union men's ice hockey team by Team USA in the semifinals of the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid, NY.

Team USA still had to beat Finland to win the gold medal. Had they lost that game, Team USA would not have won any medal. 

The picture is the cover of 3 March 1980 issue of Sports Illustrated. Notice that the only writing on the cover is the title of the magazine. No explanation of the picture was necessary.

I will close with Team USA coach Herb Brooks' classic quote when Team USA team was on the verge of losing the final game to Finland.

"If you lose this game, you'll take it to your graves...." Brooks then started to leave the dressing room, but turned in the doorway, and said, "Your fucking graves. " - Herb Brooks, during the second intermission of the USA-Finland game, in which Team USA trailed, 2-1, but scored three goals in the last period to win, 4-2. 

The Heartbreak of The Dunning-Kruger Syndrome: A Vaccine Exists!

Yes, you can read about it here.

"To be scientifically literate is to empower yourself to know when someone else is full of bullshit." - Neil deGrasse Tyson 

Danish Delights: Funny But Hurting True Facts About Daily Life, Part 2

More funny stuff from two perceptive Danes: writer Mikael Wulff and cartoon artist Anders Morgenthaler, collectively known as WuMo. See Part 1 here.

See more here. Click on the images below to enlarge them.

Thanks to Elaine J. Hanford for sending these my way.

Enjoy!

"Enhver meneer hans Kobber er Guld." - Danish proverb ("Every man thinks his own geese swans.")

Happy Valentine's Day to Mary Frances!

Happy Valentine's Day to the love of my life!

Sit Down, I Think I Love You!

Thank you!

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker 

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery 

Retirement Options in the USA

Retirement Options in the USA

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...  1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade.    2. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction  and never leave town.  3. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.  4. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you  open your oven door.  5. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  OR  You can retire to California where...  1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.  2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.  3. You know how to eat an artichoke.  4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.  5. When someone asks you how far  something is, you tell them how long  it will take to get there rather than  how many miles away it is.  6. The 4 seasons are:  Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.  OR  You can retire to New York City where...  1. You say "the city" and expect everyone  to know you mean Manhattan ....  2. You can get into a four-hour argument  about how to get from Columbus Circle  to Battery Park, but can't find  Wisconsin on a map.  3. You think Central Park is "nature."  4. You believe that being able to swear  at people in their own language  makes you multi-lingual.  5. You've worn out a car horn.  (IF you have a car).  6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.  OR  You can retire to Minnesota where...  1. You only have three spices:  salt, pepper, and ketchup  2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.  3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.  4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with  less than eight buttons.  5. The four seasons are:  almost winter, winter, still winter,  and road repair.  6. The highest level of criticism is  "He is different, she is different  or It was different!  OR  You can retire to Anderson, South Carolina where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait  in the same store.  2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.  3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.  4. Everyone has 2 first names:  Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob,  Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.  5. Everywhere is either:  "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder".  OR  You can retire to Colorado where...  1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike  atop your $500 car.  2. You tell your husband to pick up  Granola on his way home,  so he stops at the day care center.  3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.  4. The top of your head is bald,  but you still have a pony tail.  OR  You can retire to Nebraska where...  1. You've never met any celebrities,  but the mayor knows your name.  2. Your idea of a traffic jam is  three cars waiting to pass a tractor.  3. You have had to switch from  "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.  4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at.  OR  FINALLY   You can retire to Florida where...  1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.  2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind  -- even houses and cars.  3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.  4. Road construction never ends  anywhere in the state.  5. Cars in front of you often appear  to be driven by headless people

 

Thanks to Elaine Hanford.

 

Enjoy your Friday the 13th - only two more left this year!

Riley Cooper: Featured Athlete for Black History Month? Maybe It's Not Such a Bad Idea

In case you missed it, wide receiver Riley Cooper is the featured athlete for February 2015 on the Philadelphia Eagles' official calendar.

Big deal, right? Yes, it is. Turns out February is Black History Month and Cooper is a white guy (funny thing - not many white guys are in the elite category at the wide receiver position). But a few years ago Cooper made a racial slur at an outdoor Kenny Chesney concert that went viral - something about wanting to 'fight every nigger here'. Cooper quickly apologized, was fined by the Eagles, and (presumably) made peace with his African-American teammates.

Still, eyebrows were raised when the 2015 calendar made its appearance with Cooper showing up on the February page.

Here is what the Eagles said about the mistake:

We do not oversee the production of the annual team calendar. We do not provide any input about the players who are featured or where those pictures appear in the calendar. The NFL licenses the production of that calendar to a third party and we do not have an opportunity to review the material. If anything, it was an honest mistake.”

What's done is done.

So why do I think that this isn't such a bad idea? Because seeing Riley Cooper gracing February 2015 serves to remind us all that no matter how far we've come in embracing civil rights and civility, there will always be people like Riley Cooper and the calendar designers around. And their presence indicates we still have work to do.

“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?” ― Chris Rock 

Jeb Bush's Campaign: Hitting the Ground Tweeting!

Jeb Bush's PAC's new staffer is an adept Tweeter. So send Ethan Czahor a Tweet - below are examples of some he sent a few years ago. Let's give Ethan a warm civil welcome! He Tweets @czahor.

Wonder if Czahor is a Catholic high school grad? Just sayin'.

"I don't think a party can aspire to be the majority party if it's the old white guy party." - Jeb Bush

Danish Delights: Funny But Hurting True Facts About Daily Life, Part 1

A couple of creative Danes - writer Mikael Wulff and cartoon artist Anders Morgenthaler, collectively known as WuMo - have created these hilarious graphs of some of the annoyances, facts, and perils of modern life.

See many more here. Click on the images below to enlarge them.

Thanks to Elaine J. Hanford for sending these my way.

Enjoy!

 

 

  

"Den der jager to Harer af een busk, faaer sieden nogen af dem." - Danish proverb ("You must not run after two hares at the same time.")

Anti-Vaxxers, Meet Anti-Handwasher Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC)

This story comes from the Daily Kos (thanks to Eric Fitch).

Wash your hands after using the bathroom, right?

Here is a video (link here) of the 'eloquent and substantive' new Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), who opines on the application of free-market economics to employee 
handwashing:  

 

If we require restaurants to place signs saying that they do not require their employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom that's regulation, right?

Here is what his website says about the Senator:

Through hard work and dedication Thom quickly moved up the corporate ladder, earning his degree at 36 and becoming a top-level executive at PricewaterhouseCoopers and IBM. Thom’s 22-year private sector career in technology and management consulting has provided him with a deep understanding of policy-making and the management of complex organizations.

Apparently the transmission of germs and disease by dirty hands was not in the cards during his meteoric rise to the U.S. Senate.

And what excellent timing, Senator! I wonder if he vaccinated his children.

My late mother, a proud, intelligent Tar Heeler, must be rolling over in her grave.

Where do they get these guys?

At least Tillis supports clean water.

By the way - an Israeli Twitter follower of mine says they don't use the term 'anti-vaxxer' but 'pro-diseaser' instead. Nice ring to that.

"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives." - John Stuart Mill

Infographic/Flow Chart: Should You Vaccinate Your Child?

From Fast Company.

One would think an infographic would be unnecessary, but for those who need one, Scott Bateman has it. Okay, maybe there is a dose of sarcasm embedded in the diagram. Well, maybe not a dose - more like a gallon.

Click here for a larger graphic.

Funny, I think our society is regressing. I recall when I was young and my parents knew what things like measles, polio, whooping cough, etc., could do to a child, something like this was superfluous.

Oh, yeah - there is a difference between causation and correlation. See today's quote below.

Just in: an Israeli Twitter follower of mine says they don't use the term 'anti-vaxxer' but 'pro-diseaser' instead. Nice ring to that.

"The idea that vaccines are a primary cause of autism is not as crackpot as some might wish. Autism's 60-fold rise in 30 years matches a tripling of the U.S. vaccine schedule." - Jenny McCarthy

Q: When is Non-Violence Day Celebrated? A: Whenever We Can Fit It In!

Joel Pett of the Lexington (KY) Herald-Leader knows the answer.

"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages." - Thomas Edison

The Great Satan Reads About The Axis of Evil, Part 1: Marjane Satrapi's 'Persepolis'

As some of you know I traveled to Iran in early January for a scientific meeting in Isfahan, a city of around 2 million about five hours' drive south of Tehran. I have not posted about my trip save for a brief description about the meeting on 10 -11 January over at my WaterWired blog.

This post deals with the 'graphic memoir' Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood, written by Marjane (Marji) Satrapi, an Iranian born in 1969 who now lives in Paris. I read the book after I returned from my trip. It was a revelation.

In the book she recounts her childhood from just before the 1979 Islamic Revolution till about 1984. At that time, during the Iran-Iraq War, her parents sent her to high school in Vienna.

The book is absolutely delightful. Some would call this a children's book or a comic book, and that's fine with me. Satrapi was a terribly precocious, bright, and observant child and her comments on life in Iran during the turmoil are remarkable and insightful. She's not a fan of the Islamic state, and that comes through without polemics - she just describes what happens (usually stupid things) and the reader can draw his or her own conclusions. In case you're wondering, the Shah - Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi - doesn't come off as a great guy. Yeah, he started out doing some good things - women's suffrage, among others - but he became a despot. Still, he was the 'USA's despot' so he was okay. 

The illustrations are simple and add much to the story.

The book was also made into a movie.

All in all, I highly recommend Persepolis, a good window on the turmoil that was Iran 30-35 years ago, penned by a very good observer and excellent writer.

I also just discovered that there is a Persepolis 2: The Story of a Return, another graphic memoir that deals with Satrapi's life in Vienna and her return to Iran. It's already on my bookshelf.

Enjoy!

"The real war is not between the West and the East. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people." - Marjane Satrapi

Mitt Quits, Will Spend More Time with His Money

Great one from The Week.

 "I'm happy to learn that after I speak you're going to hear from Ann Coulter. That's a good thing. I think it's important to get the views of moderates." - Mitt Romney - right before Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot"

The Elephant in the Room

Joel Pett tells it like it's not being told.

"Futurists don't consider overpopulation one of the issues of the future. They consider it the issue of the future." - Dan Brown

O, My! Paying the Ultimate Price for Incompetence: Challenger Explodes 28 January 1986

From the New York Times.

Read about it here and give thanks for Richard Feynman. O-rings, anyone? 

Not the space program's finest hour. It was entirely preventable.

"If I could explain it to the average person, I wouldn't have been worth the Nobel Prize." - Richard Feynman 

The Elephants in the Room: Republicans' 12-Step Program

From the Funny Times. 

Enjoy!

 "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." - Winston Churchill

The Last Time I Put a Seashell to My Ear...

From Michael Leunig via Raul Pacheco-Vega.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." - Mark Twain

'Deflategate' and Bloviate - Sealing the Patriots' Fate: Seahawks 34, Patriots 13

Nate Beeler's great cartoon in The Week.  

All this 'fuss' will seal the Patriots' defeat in the Super Bowl: Seahawks 34, Patriots 13.

Regardless of who did what with the balls there seems to have been little scrutiny of the officials' role in all this. From now on, the balls should be checked right before the game (which they apparently were - about 2 hours beforehand) and the officials should always have control of the balls or know who does have such control after the balls' air pressures have been checked.

 "I'm not squeezing the balls. That's not part of my process." - Tom Brady

Oh, Canada! Game Misconduct for Miss Canada?

She shoots! She scores?

The Twittersphere is abuzz with Miss Canada Chanel Beckenlehner's costume at the National Costume Show of the Miss Universe Pageant in Coral Gables, FL.

Hey, it's original. But as one wag pointed out, no Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993.

“I get to go to overseas places, like Canada.” ― Britney Spears

'All Is Forgiven, I Am Charlie' - Est Que La Vérité?

Is that the truth?

Here is the first cover of Charlie Hebdo since the murders in its editorial offices.

Below is an example of the type of cartoons that Muslims found objectionable. A loose translation of the cover: 'The Quran is shit that does not stop bullets.'

Enjoy - or not.

"All too many Muslims fail to grasp Islam, which teaches one to be lenient towards others and to understand their value systems, knowing that these are tolerated by Islam as a religion." - Abdurrahman Wahid

'Foolproof' Weather Forecasting Device Fails to Give Temperature

How about:

Stone is Cold - cool temperature

Stone is Frosty - cold temperature

Stone is Hot - warm temperature

Enjoy! 

“Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.” – Robert A. Heinlein or Mark Twain or....

Are You a Former North Bennet Street School Caddie? Listen Up - Reunion On Tap!

Here's a postcard that friend Frank Colvario sent out to former North Bennet Street School caddies from the following camps: Maplewood, Lake Tarleton, Clauson's, Wianno, and Oyster Harbors. We'd like to expand our list, so if you know a former caddie, please let Frank know. If you did not get this card, let Frank know. His email is [email protected]

Below are just some of the people we seek....I'm there. Go to 'Ma' LaBonte in the middle and count three to the left - that's me! You can click on the picture to enlarge it.

 

Even if you can't go to the reunion, let him know so we can toast you in September and keep you updated. Click on the graphic below to enlarge it.

 See you in September!

"I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older." - George Clooney

Look, Pa - I (Heart) White People with KKK Radio!

Yeah, we've come a long way, baby. 

This is no joke - I think the station is in Arkansas.

And here is the show schedule (click on the graphic to enlarge):

Here is the schedule as a PDF:  Download Show Schedule | KKK Radio

Enjoy?

"What is it you most dislike? Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and superstition." – Christopher Hitchens